How to Fall in Love with Love Again – Overcoming the Fear of Love
Overcoming the fear of love isn’t easy, but this is a practical guide to challenge those fears and start to fall in love with love again!
You like someone for the first time or the first time after a while, and you panic instead of enjoying it, or you self-sabotage relationships instead of allowing it to flow! That’s a fear of love!
Or you might see love as a myth because you want to justify your reason for avoiding it. That’s a fear of love!
“Can you tell us about love?
Hmm, well, there’s love of children, Love of self, Love of God, Love of a partner, And all of them have a different shape, But all of them is the same in the end. It’s about sensitivity, it’s about passion, It’s about unconditional giving of self to another person. And there’s love of humanity; that’s the love that is right now needed most: Love of humanity. But in everything, in all of that love, there is a soul
It’s like when you take some eggs and break them, and you take the shells and mix them up, trying to find the ones that match; when you find the perfect match
That compatibility results in passion
Results in unconditional giving of self
-The Carters, “BLACK EFFECT”
Philophobia
There are so many definitions or situations that point back to being afraid of ‘love,’ but an easy way to put it is seeing love in black and white rather than in color!
The Phobia name for this is ‘Philophobia,’ and just like any fear, it’s something that you can overcome through patience, willingness, and active steps.
Getting over ‘Philophobia’ isn’t only to open you to relationships but also to allow you freedom from negative energy, mindsets, or the identity prisons we create based on our own definition of love.
These are the steps you can take to ‘fall in love with love again!’
How To Overcome Fear of Love
1. Reflect on Why You Have a ‘Fear of Love’
Self-awareness is the key to growth! Through awareness, you understand certain behaviors, emotions, and patterns you may practice that are unhealthy.
But without reflection, you can’t develop self-awareness. Overcoming your fear of love requires you to understand certain behaviors, thoughts, and narratives you associate with the concept of love.
During Reflection, you have to ask yourself
- What experience, whether a bad past relationship, childhood programming, social media, or association, has shaped this fear?
Reflection can be done through guided journals, therapy sessions, or conversations with friends or family who may have been third perspectives in your past relationships.
You need to know your roots to understand how to remove them. Not all roots can be removed the same way!
2. Build a Gate, Not a Wall
Overcoming your fear of love doesn’t mean letting go of boundaries or not being a little careful. It means making your heart more like a gate than a brick wall.
Just like a house has a gate that allows people in, there are checks on whether the person allowed to come in is safe and secure
sometimes, some people are allowed in because you feel comfortable having them in your house since they can respect and care for your space.
But some people who had that privilege before may not have it anymore because they didn’t respect, care for, or bring peace to your home after countless visits; therefore, the gate is shut to them!
This flexible approach is a better way than a brick wall because you don’t have to shut everybody out. You can screen and decide who is right to invite into your home so you feel safe, secure, and respected.
Even if you open your gate to someone who got in under false pretense, you may need to increase security measures (Boundaries) instead of building a ‘brick wall.’
3. Be Delusional
Being Delusional is not ignoring reality; it’s a way to rewire a thought system. Rewiring your mindset starts with believing in possibilities.
If you believe in truly finding healthy love and all things working out for your good, whether good or bad, you start to move in a way that aligns with that belief system in your decisions, actions, and discernment concerning relationships and love.
4. Expose Your Self to The Positive Side of Love
For every Failure, there is success. That’s the dual side of life: with a negative experience of a situation, there is probably always a positive experience of that same situation.
You can practice this on Social Media. For example, you need to actively search for the ‘hope core’ of love or go on a digital diet by cutting out content with bad experiences or conversations that don’t positively impact you ( because some may be good advice but not every one is!)
Exposing yourself to the positive side of love also requires you to check the company and environment around you, including the conversations. Because you are likely to become a product of your environment, it might as well be positive and fulfilling.
Exposing yourself to the positive side of love expands your belief of it.
5. Talk to a Mentor or Therapist
If you want to achieve something in life, you need to talk to people who have already done it.
Talking to a mentor who is where you want to be in terms of mindset is a great way to get insights on overcoming your fear of love
Going to therapy is another really good way because there, you can discover your why and your fuel for fear, whether it be your environment, the past, or the friendships around you.
Overcoming the fear of love takes time, patience, and grace, but it’s possible! Love isn’t meant to be seen in black and white but in color.
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